Monsters are Real
by Satan'sLittleSiren
Summary: This is mostly Malec with some Sizzy and Clace and maybe some others as well. Rated M for mentions of self-harm, bullying, homophobia, and possibly future smut. All-human AU. First person. Takes place at Alicante high school. Alec is only alive because his little brother needs him. But what happens in he finds another reason to keep going?
1. School

_**AN: This chapter will be one of my shorter ones just to know if I should continue the story.**_

**Alec's POV**

I sigh as I stare into the full mirror in my bathroom. My chest, arms, and legs are littered with scars. Some are faded, but many are still pink or even just beginning to scab over. I run a hand through my wet hair and pull on some clothes. When I make it to the kitchen, Jace is already there along with Izzy and Max. Max is happily chowing down on cereal, but Izzy and Jace look like they are in a serious conversation. They stop talking when they notice me and I blanch. Were they talking about me?

Jace smiles, but I can see through it. Something is really bothering them. "What's wrong?" I ask, causing Maxon to look up. Isabelle tries to look innocent but I glare at her. "You two are acting suspicious."

"Who? Us?" Jace gasps in fake shock, "We'd never!" After glaring at him for a few seconds I just roll my eyes and pour myself a cup of coffee.

After everyone finishes with their breakfast, I clean the dishes quickly before ordering Max into my car. "You two need a ride?" I ask just before I leave. Jace and Izzy both shake their heads so I grab my keys and drive Max to his elementary school.

While we're in the car he doesn't stop grinning. When I ask what's up, he just shakes his head, "It's a secret." Is all he'll tell me. I frown a little; he has never felt the need to keep anything from me before, but I keep quiet because he doesn't need me to snoop around like our parents do.

When he gets out, I give him a quick hug and assure him that I'll be back to pick him up later then drive to school. The moment I see the god-forsaken place, my stomach clenches. Maybe I should just skip…

But I can't do that, not if I want to go to any sort of decent college. I need all the help I can get from whatever scholarships I can get my hands on and since sports are out of the question, I'm relying on my grades.

**Magnus POV**

I groan as my alarm goes off at the unholy hour of six in the morning. Not for the first time I wish school began at noon. It would be a lot easier to concentrate on all of the boring lectures and whatnot if I was fully conscious. But, alas, this isn't the case, so I am forced to wake up and _function_ long before I ever should.

I traipse into the kitchen to find scrambled eggs being dumped onto a plate. "For me?" I grin. My beautiful mother nods and kisses my cheek, having to stand on her tip-toes to do so and still barely reaching.

"Of course, Magnus." She chuckles. "When you get home late would you mind going to the store to get a few groceries? I think I am going to have to stay late today since Ragnor is ill." I only nod and dig into my food. Once that is over, I make my way back upstairs to my room and get dressed. I wear a tight black shirt under a neon pink fishnet vest and purple leather pants. Honestly it seems a little boring but as I'm particularly tired this morning, I don't really care. After applying some sparkly purple eyeshadow and plain black eyeliner, I gel my hair up into spikes with glitter gel.

Once I'm satisfied, I walk outside and get in the minivan that mom bought me last year. When I first got it I didn't really like it. I mean, who wants to drive around in a minivan? Especially if you are a good-looking single man like myself. But I've done a wonderful sparkly paintjob on it and it really isn't half bad now. It only takes ten minutes before I see my school. I sigh mournfully. Though I generally keep up my happy façade anywhere I go, it is particularly hard here. If I'm honest, this is one of the places that made me need a façade to seem happy. But whining won't change anything, so I hope out of my van and sashay into the wretched building.


	2. Meeting

A/N: I'm so happy that I got people following my story within the first day of it being up, and thank you so much, WibblyWobblyTimeyWimey13, for reviewing. I'd love for more reviews, I thrive off of criticism! Also, any suggestions for the story will be taken into account.

Also I just realized I didn't put a disclaimer in my first chapter so here it is: If you recognize it, I'm sure it isn't mine.

And one more thing, if I use derogatory words in my story it is only because the person saying it is a huge jackass and I want to get that across in every way possible. In no way do I approve of those words. In fact, whenever I hear them I feel like beating the speakers face in. I'm sorry if it bothers you, really, but it is realistic.

Alec's POV

The day was much the same as always. As soon as I stepped into the building, a group of girls called out to me. "Why don't you ever take off that ratty old hood? Do you have some sort of full body rash? Is that why you won't even look at people, because it is on your face too?" One of them, Kylie, rambles.

"Hey, you jerk, answer her!" A red head named Petunia demanded. The rest of the girls took their turn with me, except the blonde, Camille, she never spoke to me. She acted like she was too good to associate with me, for which I was glad. Everyone knew that she was easily the cruelest of the group.

Finally I made it to my locker, but before I managed to open it, I heard a deep voice call out, "Hey girls, is this punk bothering you?" I just sigh and wait for him to leave. I'm really in no mood to deal with Johnathan, my biggest tormentor.

"John, he won't talk to us. We're just trying to be friendly, but he keeps ignoring us like we're not even here." Kylie whimpers.

Suddenly I'm pushed face first into my locker. "Hey, don't you know it's impolite to ignore people, fag?" Johnathan growls. I don't respond. Eventually the bell rings and the girls and Johnathan leave me alone. Once they're gone, I finally get what I need from my locker and head towards my first class. As I walk by the bathroom, however, I can't stop myself from turning in and digging the pocket knife from the pouch of my hoodie. I set my books on the sink counter and retreat into a stall. Pulling up my sleeves, I make a few slashes along my forearm and let the blood drip into the toilet for a minute before getting a couple of paper towels.

After cleaning up and making sure I won't bleed through my clothes, I hurry into class. I'm late, as always, but not terribly so. I guess I wasn't in the bathroom for that long. The teacher, Mr. Hodge, only gives me a look as I come in. I give an apologetic shrug and take my seat in the back corner.

When he finishes talking, there are still a few minutes left before the bell which I use to catch up on homework. My arm itches terribly, but I refrain myself, not wanting it to start bleeding anew. Once the bell rings, I take my time gathering up my stuff and exit the classroom last, hoping to avoid confrontation with anyone. Unfortunately, though, that doesn't work. Somehow, Johnathan and his group of douche bags are already waiting just outside of the classroom door. I pretend to ignore them, hoping against hope that they will go away. They don't of course. As I walk down the halls, they corral me into the bathroom. "Guys, please I just want to get to class." I sigh, but they seem to take it as encouragement.

"Oh, I like that. Beg, faggot." Sebastian, Johnathan's brother taunts as he shove me back against the wall. The funny thing is, if I weren't practically anemic from blood loss, I would be able to hold my own against these two. I work out as often as I can, which, honestly, isn't that often, but I'm still pretty strong. If it weren't for the fact that I'd probably faint if I exerted myself too much, I would be able to take these pansies out. Unfortunately, the daily draining of my blood prevents that. "Come on, beg." Sebastian grins manically and wraps his hand around my throat, choking me. I push against him, but already I am feeling dizzy so my attempts at freedom are feeble at best.

Luckily, before I black out someone enters the bathroom and Sebastian lets go of me. "What are you two doing?" A velvety voice asks.

"Just having a chat with our good friend here…" Johnathan frowns a little, trying to think of my name. I doubt he will be able to come up with it though. Not many people know who I am other than Jace and Isabelle's friends. Sebastian puts his arm around my shoulders and drags me into view of whoever interrupted his attempt to strangle me. I keep my eyes trained on the dirty white tiles on the floor.

"Really, because that's not what it looked like a minute ago." The boy says in an oddly happy tone. I glance up at him then and was shocked at what I saw. He wore tight purple pants, a pink fishnet vest over a black shirt, eyeliner, and glitter all over him. The glitter was extremely noticeable on his brown skin. I made contact with his yellow-green eyes for only a second before looking down again.

"Look, you little bitch, you'd better keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you." Johnathan states while Sebastian looks almost scared.

"We'll see, in the meantime, don't you two have class?" The boy asks cheerfully. Johnathan and Sebastian growled out a few more threats before leaving. Once they were out, the glittery boy took a step towards me. I flinched away without meaning to. He stopped walking. "I'm not going to hurt you." He says; I'm almost surprised at how his tone changed from peppy to serious. "Are you okay?" He asks me. I nod. "What class are you going to next?" He keeps talking to me for some reason.

"Art," I mumble at my feet.

"Really? I've never noticed you in there." He says, "Huh, that's odd. Well, since we have the same class, will you walk with me...uh?"

I look at him suspiciously before replying, "Alec."

"You're Isabelle's brother, right?" He smiles gorgeously and I lose anything even resembling a train of thought for a second. Once I remember that he asked a question, I nod. "Wonderful! I'm Magnus Bane. It's a pleasure to meet you." He holds out a hand for me to shake. I take it cautiously and am surprised at how warm it is. "Come on, we don't want to be late for class, do we?" His smile is still in place as he leads the way to Mrs. Fray's class.

Magus' POV

I smile when I hear Alec's footsteps next to me, and for the first time in a while, it is an honest one. Those two jerks bully anyone they can, but this boy more than anyone else. Normally I don't do anything about it because I don't want them to give me trouble, but I guess something just snapped in me today. Or maybe I was just tired of being a by-stander. Whatever it was, I'm glad for it.

I knew he was being bullied, but I didn't really understand how badly until I walked in on them today. I never thought they would do something to physically harm another student. And the look on Alec's face when I spoke to him was heart wrenching. He seemed so surprised that someone would talk to him without hurling insults that I just wanted to wrap him in my arms forever. That can't happen, of course, especially because of the way he flinched when I just took a step toward him. I glance at the beautiful blue-eyed boy and am unsurprised to see him staring at his feet. I'll have to change that; after all, I can't see his gorgeous eyes if he is looking down.

"S-so, uh, how do you know Izzy?" He asks. I'm shocked for a moment that he spoke since he seems so timid and is probably still dizzy from being suffocated a few moments ago.

"I met her last year at a fashion convention that I convinced the school to hold. My model had gotten sick so your sister kindly agreed to replace her. Since then we've kept in touch." I shrug, still looking at him, hoping he'll look up. He doesn't though. Not even once we get to class. He goes to the table at the back of the room when he normally sits. At that table are only him and one other boy who is also a target of the Morgenstern brothers. I can't quite recall his name though. Sally? Sue? No, I'm fairly sure he had a boy name… Sam? With a sigh I give up trying to remember.

I consider joining Alec at his table, but I don't want to freak him out with too much sudden attention so I go to my usual spot and turn to face him. After a few seconds, he glances up at me and is startled to find me already looking at him. I wink, causing his deep blue eyes to widen and his cheeks to flush, but he doesn't look away. Instead he tilts his head, reminding me of a puppy, and I chuckle. It isn't until the teacher comes in that I pull my gaze off of the unusually beautiful boy.

Alec's POV

Mrs. Fray tells us that for the next week, we will be working on making portraits, one of ourselves and one of our partner whom she will assign to us. She doesn't care how we do it. We can paint or sketch or anything else we can think of, as long as it looks like us when we are done. Which is odd; normally she is very specific on how she wants us to do something. The only pairings I listen to are mine and Simon's, who is partnered with Camille. I pat his shoulder in sympathy. I'm partnered with Magnus, which I'm not sure whether to be happy or upset about. When she tells us to go sit with our partners, Simon's face blanches even more. I feel bad for him; Camille's group messes with him just as much as they do me. "Just make sure to draw her as the witch she is." I whisper to him and the corner of his mouth twitches up.

Magnus walks over to my table, if walk is even the proper word for it. He looks like he is trying to be a runway model. Not that he couldn't be… I shake my head and pull my eyes from Magnus to the desk. I do not need to be thinking these sorts of thoughts. Even if the Morgenstern brothers suspect my sexual orientation, I do not want to confirm it for anyone. The harassment would only get worse if I did. Magnus sits next to me with a flourish and taps my shoulder. I reluctantly look at his bronzed face. "I guess we're partners now." He practically purrs. It is weirdly attractive. Frowning at myself, I nod. However, he seems to think my frown is because of our being partnered and he almost looks hurt for a second. I wince. Of course I would go and do something like this.

"Yeah," I say, trying to sound happy about it. I'm not sure if I succeed or not, but he smiles and pulls out a paper.

"I think I'll sketch you now, though I think a painting will be my final work." He says in his normal peppy voice. I just nod, unsure of what I'm supposed to say in response. Jeez, I'm really lacking on the social skills, aren't I? I feel my cheeks redden at my social blunder, but thankfully he is too busy sketching to notice.

I pull out my sketch pad and get to work as well, effectively capturing his strong yet slim jaw line and high, glittering cheekbones. His mouth takes a bit more concentration, but I get it as well. However, I cannot seem to make his eyes to my satisfaction. I frown and look up at him. My sketch is of him grinning, like he usually is, but for some reason, I don't recall ever seeing his eyes being happy. After a minute, he must feel my stare and look up. "What is it?" He asks, "Is my eyeliner smudged?"

"No." I tell him and sigh, "It's nothing; I just… can't get you right." I gesture vaguely to my paper.

He looks at my work and tilts his head. "That's actually really good. I mean, it is obviously not done, but you are incredibly talented, Alec." I flush warmly and duck my eyes, once again unsure of what to say. "But maybe you could work on your self-portrait if you're stuck on that one." He suggests and I nod, flipping to a blank page before beginning to slowly form my face as I see it every day. When art class is dismissed, my mind is in a haze, trying to recall Magnus' eyes being a part of his smile, but I just can't. That makes me wonder if, for all his grinning, he is really happy or just faking.

It isn't until English Literature that my head begins to clear, which isn't really helpful as it is the last class. To my surprise, and joy, if I'm honest, I share this class with Magnus as well. I'd noticed him before, I mean, he is impossible to ignore, but I'd never known who he was until just today. He smiles when I walk in and I take special notice of his eyes, they are devoid of any kind of emotion. I frown a slight bit and take my usual seat, in the back, of course.

Mr. Greymark begins by telling us of a project that will be due at the end of the month on the writing style of an English poet of our choice. This elicited groans from several of my classmates, making the teacher sigh. He quickly got over it, though, and when the students finally shut up, he announced that it would be a group project. "Since there are not quite enough for everyone to be in a group of three, I had to make one group of two. And those two are Lightwood, Alec and Bane, Magnus. Is that okay with you?" He asks considerately and eyes the two of us. Magnus smirks and nods and I shrug, wondering what method these teachers are using to partner up their students. I am also a little anxious that I have two big projects due soon, but I try not to worry too much. Not that I succeed in the least, worrying is what I do best, after all, but still, I try.

A/N: Okay, there is that please tell me what you thought of it. I'm kind tired so they are probably tons of mistakes; feel free to point them out.  
THANKS to the anon that alerted me to the Greymark error.


	3. Projects

_**A/N: My reviews are truly heartwarming! Thanks soooooo much!  
So what do you all think of my Alec… I just am not sure if I've written him right. I mean, obviously he will be a little OOC, because his personality was formed by a completely different sequence of events, but I still want it to have a little of the Alec we all know and love in there. Please tell me what you think in the reviews.  
Also, I'll be leaving for a two week vacation this Saturday and will not be updating during that time, but I'll try to get something up when I get back!**_

**Magnus' POV**

After school lets out, I find Alec. "Hello, beautiful." I say with a smirk and he whips around. His cheeks are bright red. I don't think he even realizes how adorable that makes him look. "When would you like to meet up for our project?" I smile widely at him.

He tilts his head as if considering my question. "I have to pick up Max after school and he has football practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm free most other times though." He says in a quiet voice, as if he is hoping that I don't hear him.

"Okay, how about we meet up an hour after school on the other three days." I suggest and he nods, though I notice it is less of a "yea, good idea" nod and more of an "I literally could not care less" nod. "Great, so where are we gonna meet up?"

"My house probably has more room…" He bits his lip in a way that I find almost irresistible. With a sigh he scribbles something on a small piece of paper and hands it to me, "My address… I'll see you in an hour I guess." He nods as a goodbye and I grin. However, once he is out of sight, I sigh. How could a boy who looks like him be so… unsure of himself. Everything he says comes out as a question more than a statement. I find myself wanting to help him somehow, but I shut that train of thought down almost immediately. I do not need any more drama in my life; Angel knows I've had more than my fair share already.

Even though I'm determined not to get too involved with him, something still nags in the back of my mind. I choose, however, to ignore it, and put his address in my backpack before driving home in my minivan.

When I don't see Mom dancing about the house like usual, I remember she said she was staying late and that she wanted me to get groceries. I glance at the clock, still having over forty-five minutes before I'm supposed to meet Alec, I quickly grab my laptop and art supplies and shove then into the car then drive off to the market. I buy everything that was on the list as well as some cookie dough to snack on later and return home to put everything away. When I am finished, I only have two minutes to make it over to the Lightwood's house. I shrug; it isn't like I make a point of being on time for anything else, why should this be any different?

Arriving at Alec's "house" if that is even the right word for it, I quickly gather my things together and ring the doorbell. _It is really more of a mansion_ I think as I gape at the structure. It is all white with elegant columns near the door and three stories. I sigh; I've always wanted a house with stairs. "Coming!" I hear someone's voice call from inside. A moment later, the door is opened. A blond glares at me before spitting out, "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Magnus, and you are?" I raise an eyebrow, not liking his tone at all.

"Jace Lightwood. What do you want, Sparkles?"

"He's my partner in Lit, Jace, let him in would you?" Alec's voice sounds from somewhere inside. He appears a few seconds later. I grin at him and Jace sneers. "Relax, bro. Don't you have a date to be picking up anyways?" Alec knocked into blondie's shoulder, making the boy nod and smile a little bit.

"Indeed I do. See you later, Alec." Blondie says with a smile then glares at me on his way out.

"Don't mind him." Alec says and opens the door wider, indicating I should come in. "He's a bit protective, it's nothing personal." I shrug because I can completely understand someone wanting to protect this raven-haired boy before me. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?" He asks, leading me into his house after closing his rather intimidating front door.

"Sure! Do you have any tea?" I say happily and he nods. We soon reach the kitchen where Isabelle is standing with an apron tied around her waist. "Hello, Isabelle." I greet, making her whip around.

"Magnus! Hey! Alec told us you'd be coming over." She announces and hugs me.

"What… is that smell?" I ask her when a burning scent reaches my nose.

"I'm making lasagna." She tells me proudly.

"On second thought," Alec laughs a little, "maybe we should skip the food." Izzy glares at him and whacks him with a towel. I glance at his blue eyes; I've rarely seen him smile, much less laugh. I guess he just stays quiet at school in hopes of avoiding attention. Not that he is able to pull it off, with his inky black hair and deep blue eyes; I'm surprised he managed to stay single all of this time. I know I certainly noticed him. Last year, I noticed him a lot, but as I had no proof he even liked guys, I tried to suffocate my crush by pretending not to see him. It almost worked…

"Come on, let's go to my art room." he suggests after Izzy is finished assaulting him with a slightly damp dish rag. I follow along quietly as he guides me through the labyrinth he calls a house. When he finally comes to the right door, he walks in and flicks the light on. I gasp when I enter. There are paintings and sketches everywhere. I look at on that is leaning right next to the door. It is of a little boy who I presume is Alec's little brother. He is lying in the grass, eyes closed, with a football next to him. It looks like evening time in the photo and his face is a mixture of shadows and light.

"Wow," I mutter and crouch down to get a better look.

"S-sorry about the mess…" Alec stutters a little, getting me to look up at him. He is biting his lip and blushing while staring at the ground.

"Alec, there is nothing to be ashamed of. This—this is amazing. All of them are. You are a brilliant artist." I inform him and his cheeks get, if possible, even brighter.

**Alec's POV**

I push open the door to my favourite room of the house and enter, Magnus following behind me. My drawings and paintings are scattered all around making me wince. Magnus will probably think I'm a total slob. Not that I have any reason to care what Magnus thinks. He gasps when he gets a look at everything and his eyes dart to the painting I made of Max when he joined the football team. I blush profusely and mumble, "S-sorry about the mess."

When I speak, Magnus looks up at me with wide eyes, "Alec, there is nothing to be ashamed of. This—this is amazing. All of them are. You are a brilliant artist." I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. Since I have no idea what I'm supposed to say, I just stare at my worn down black Converse. I hear him chuckle a little before saying, "Okay, who do you want to write our report on? I don't really care as long as it's not Shakespeare."

Grateful that he changed the subject, I ask, "What's wrong with Shakespeare?"

"Nothing, I just think he is overdone. So who do you want?"

"Bryon."

"Why?"

I shrug, "I don't know. I've just always rather liked him, I guess."

"Fine, Byron it is." Magnus shrugs and takes out his laptop. For the next hour, we work on out report, that is, until Magnus abandons that project and starts painting. Eventually I save our work and shut his computer. For a second, I just watch him. He is coloring in the light sketch he made of me. You can't see my legs as I'm sitting at a desk with my head down. It looks like I was writing something and just looked up. At the moment, he was trying to get my eyes to the right shade. "Are you going to do something or just stare? Not that I really mind, I'm just curious." He comments without looking up. My cheeks heat up and I look away, earning a soft laugh from him.

I retrieve my sketch pad and continue to draw myself. On my paper, I was staring blankly ahead with frazzled hair and circles under my eyes which were only partially open. The corners of my mouth were slightly down turned and my shoulders were hunched. I wore my faded blue sleepshirt that was all wrinkled. At least, that was how it would look when I was finished. I'm so lost in my work that I don't notice that someone else comes in until they tap my shoulder. I jump at the contact and notice Magnus shoot me a glance.

"Chill, Alec, I just wanted to warn you that Dad came home early. He's in a rather bad mood, so you might want to stay in here for a while." Izzy tells me. I get the hint: don't let Magnus wander around on his own.

"Thanks." I nod and chew on my lip before trying to brighten the mood, "So how'd your lasagna turn out?"

"I tried to feed it to Church, but the damned cat wouldn't even try it."

"That's unfortunate, I'd been hoping you could poison him…" I sighed dramatically. Izzy hit my shoulder then left. I turn to find Magnus looking at me with a curious expression that I didn't quite understand. "What?" I suddenly feel very self-conscious.

He throws on a smile and shrugs before going back to his painting. I finish mine a while later and don't feel like doing anything else so I just lay down on one of the few clear spots in the room, waiting for Magnus to finish, or just get tired and want to leave, whichever comes first. "What is Alec short for?" Magnus asks out of the blue.

"Alexander. Why?" I look over at him. He is still working on his painting.

"Alexander," He says my name in a way that makes me shiver, then he looks at me with a bright smile plastered on his face, "No reason, though I must say, it suits you. It sounds like a knight or king or something."

I frown at him, "Why would you think that it suits me then?"

He sighs almost inaudibly, "Well… look at you. You're ravishing. I'm sure you would look amazing in armour and atop of your noble steed." He giggles. I just look at him, unsure of what to make of this. "Not that you'd agree, I'm sure. Oh! Speaking of self-image, may I see your drawing?" I nod wordlessly and hand him my sketch pad, flipped open to the correct page. I twinge of anxiety pulls at me when I wonder if he will look through the rest of it, but since I've already given it to him I can't exactly take it back. Thankfully he doesn't turn the page. Instead, he studies my self-portrait.


	4. Fathers

_**AN: So, I'm back from vacation. It was good, I got to go to Harry Potter world in Orlando and see my Mema. XD Anyways, if you have any comments I'd be more than happy to receive them! Special thanks to GideonGraystairs for the constructive comment. I will definitely keep that in mind. Now, let's get on with it. **_

**Magnus' POV**

The drawing is superb, truly. Really, the only problem with it is that it hardly bares any resemblance to the Alexander I know. In the picture, his hair is matted, like he hadn't brushed it in weeks; there are dark bags under his eyes that, when I look over at the real Alexander, I notice are there, but much less noticeable than in the picture. His posture is even more hunched than it is in reality and his cheeks look oddly hollow. I frown and look back up at the real Alec.

"Is it that bad?" He asks with a defeated sigh, I almost laugh. In all honesty, I doubt he could make a bad piece of art if he tried so I don't know how he can automatically assume that.

"No, it's wonderful actually. We might actually win because of your art. It really is good, Alec." I assure him.

"Then what's with the face?" He meets my eyes curiously.

I shrug and grin. "Nothing at all." It isn't that I don't _want_ to tell him what I was thinking, because I do. It's just that… I don't know how he'd take it and I would rather not risk it. He eyes me with a look that says he wasn't fooled, but he doesn't push it. I almost wish he would. I am at the point where I am actually looking for something about him that annoys me; otherwise I might do something stupid like fall for him. I shake my head; there is no way I am letting that happen.

I try to go back to my painting, but my mind won't concentrate. Eventually I say, "Well, that was fun, but I should probably get home soon. I'd appreciate it if you could show me out since I'd probably get lost otherwise." He agrees and, once I get all of my things gathered, guides me out of the room and back into the labyrinth.

As we walk, I hear someone yelling from the direction of the kitchen. Alec seems to purposely avoid the area. Putting together Isabelle's warning from earlier, I presume that it is their father yelling. I sigh, I'm no stranger to a raging father. However, I _am_ saddened that Alexander has to go through the same thing I did.

Shaking myself out of my thoughts that are in no way helping me get over my crush, I say, "So… Wednesday?"

He nods and attempts a smile, but it is ruined when he glances worriedly towards the kitchen. I fight the urge to take his hand. It only takes a few more seconds until we reach the entry way of his house. "See you." He says and opens the door for me. I smile and nod. Just before I exit, though, a rough voice makes itself known.

"Alec, who is this supposed to be?" The voice asks. I stiffen and turn. So this is the father. His hair and eyes are like Alexander's except, instead of an endless, soft blue, his eyes are pale and hard.

"T-this is Magnus, he is my p-partner for a literature project." Alexander stutters fearfully. I immediately hate this man. "He was just on his way out." He shoots me a desperate look and I nod, heading out the door. A large part of me doesn't want to leave Alexander alone with that person who calls himself a father, but deep down I know I'd just make the situation worse. All I can do for the moment is hope that nothing bad happens to Alec.

**Alec's POV**

"Why didn't you tell me that you were having someone over?" Dad glowers at me.

"I-I didn't think you'd mind since it was for school…"

"I _asked_ why you didn't tell me, not if you thought it'd be okay." He bites out.

"Well, you weren't home and we only just made the plans today—"

"Oh, so you're saying it is my fault? Do you not realize that I was at work? To support this family! And this is what I get for thanks: a disrespectful son who—" I am prepared to take his usual lecture without complaint, but his next words make me crack. "associates, behind my back, with scumbag faggots!"

Without making the conscious decision to do so, I swing my fist at his jaw. He staggered back, more in shock than pain, then returned the blow. He muttered something else, but I didn't pay attention, I am tired of listening to this pathetic excuse of a human being go on and on about how we should be grateful because he "provides for us". _Ha. The only thing he provides for is his own party fund._ If it weren't for his huge inheritance and Mom's work ethic, we'd be bankrupt.

He punches me again and I try to block it. He ends up only hitting my arm. Unfortunately it is the arm I cut earlier and I feel it start to bleed again. I need to get away from him before he notices. Not that he'd really care, but I can't have him exposing this to anyone else.

By some ridiculous stroke of luck, he trips on the corner of our doormat and stays down. I presume he is drunk by his scent and general actions so he'll be down for a while. Quickly, I run up the stairs to my room and lock the door. I tend to my re-injured arm until the bleeding stops, then I fall into bed.

Sometime later, I'm not entirely sure how long since I was dozing on and off, I hear a hard knock on my door. I still, thinking it is Dad, and pray that he leaves, but when I hear Jace's voice, I relax. "Alec! Let me in! Izzy told me about Robert, she said you got into a fight and ran in here." Huh, I didn't notice her, I must have been too focused on Dad. "Alec! If you don't open the door, I'll just have to break it down." I groan, he would do it, I know he would.

"Fine, just a sec…" I murmur and walk over to the door, swinging it open only for Jace to bolt into my room and slam it shut. "I thought you weren't going to break it if I let you in." I sigh.

Jace knocks my arm playfully, but I can't help the wince that escapes me. His amused expression turns serious and he grabs my wrist. "What did he do? It isn't broken, is it? Let me see." I want to tear my arm away, or tell him not to look, but I am frozen in fear as he yanks up my sleeve to expose bandages covering the majority of my arm.

"N-no." I finally stammer, "Don't, I'm fine."

"Like hell you are." He sneers, still thinking that Dad is the reason I am bandaged up. He carefully peels away the bandages and I shut my eyes tightly. I can't pull away now, he'd only get stubborn and demand to see. It would make things worse, if anything. I can feel the moment realization dawns upon him. He stops moving, I am not even positive that he is breathing, and the air seems to thicken. "Robert didn't do this, did he?" Jace's voice sounds heavy, like it is an effort to push it out. I shake my head with a surprising calmness.

It isn't like I'm disillusioned into thinking that Jace will be okay with it, or even that he'll keep it a secret, I know he will at least tell Izzy. And I know that he will think I'm a monster, because I am. It hurts a little that he finally sees me for who—what I really am, but a part of me is almost relieved. At least I won't feel like I'm betraying him with every word I say any more. On the other hand, I doubt he will ever speak to me again, so it really isn't that great. Still, I am oddly lacking of any sort of emotional response.

"H-how long? Why?" Jace's voice comes out broken.

**Magnus' POV**

After I leaving Alec's house, I drive home slowly, not being able to help but worry about him. I know full well the possibilities of what could be happening at this very moment and they aren't good. But, all I can do is that Isabelle will stand up for him in my place. Not that he is at all weak. He actually seems unusually strong to be able to go through the torture he does without breaking. But the look in his beautiful eyes when he saw his father scares me.

It doesn't take long, even driving at a leisurely pace, to reach my house. When I open the door, I see Mom splayed on our sofa watching reruns of I Love Lucy. "Hey, Mom." I call from the doorway.

"Hi honey." She says with a smile in her voice. "Where've you been if you don't mind…? I was forced to eat all of the cookie dough since no one was here to stop me."

I laugh, "I was at a friend's for a Literature project."

"Oh? A _friend's?_" He turns to face me and waggles her eyebrows.

"Jeez, it isn't like that!" I can't keep my grin away at her antics. But then I remember the state he was in and my countenance falls. Mom notices and comes over to me.

"What is it honey?" She rests a hand on my bicep.

"It—When I left, his dad approached us and… he seemed drunk and Alexander didn't act like it was unusual and he… Mom what if he is like Dad?" I bite my lip to keep from tearing up. She is quiet for a long moment, her memories of that man are stronger than mine since she was with him longer, and I was only a child for the most part. I regret mentioning him when I see the foggy look in her eyes that she used to get when she thought about doing something extreme like killing him or committing suicide. I knew she'd never do it, for my sake, but sometimes she would wonder aloud what it would be like if she did. Those moments terrified me. "Mom, are you alright?" I ask gently, mentally kicking myself for doing this to her.

"Yes, of course, honey." She takes a deep breath and forces a smile, "If your friend, Alexander, is in a similar situation, then I suggest that you just be there for him. But don't worry, if we get evidence that whatever that man is doing is illegal, we'll turn it in, okay?"

I nod and give her a brief but heartfelt hug before going to my room. I feel slightly better after talking to Mom, but still… Tomorrow at school I will have to make sure he is okay.

_**AN: You know what would be a super cool thing to do right now? Review. That be amazing.**_


	5. Coming Clean

_**AN: Soooo one of my favourite FanFiction authors, AllNightmareLong666 read and reviewed my excuse for a story AND I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Also, you guys should check out City of Stars, it is super cool. **_

**Alec's POV**

"Please don't tell anyone." I request with my voice still calm. Jace looks at me like I'm mad. _Well, you are._ I mentally remind myself.

"How long?" He repeats himself firmly.

Sighing in defeat I shrug, "Maybe three years? I'm not sure. I mean, I cut occasionally since fourth grade when dad started… But it wasn't until high school that I did it more… regularly."

Still staring at my arm like it is an alien object he asks, "Why do you do it?"

"So I can smile." I tell him, knowing that he'll ask for clarification.

"What the hell are you talking about, Alec?"

"I cut as a release… If I didn't, I don't know if I'd even be alive and I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to smile by now. So I cut to numb the pain and be able to smile." I explain.

He is silent for a long time and lets go of my arm. Eventually he looks into my eyes and asks, "Is Robert really why you started all of this?"

I almost say yes, but I can't bring myself to lie to him anymore. "No." He looks a little confused, but I don't give him time to speak before I say, "Well… maybe? I don't know. I started when I realized that… that I am gay. I guess if it weren't for Dad, I wouldn't think that it was a bad thing to be but, no, I cut because I was disgusted with myself. At first, that was my reason. Now… there are too many to even tell apart." I hold my breath, not sure how he will respond. I fully expect him to be as disgusted with me as I am and brace myself to be hit, or at least for him to walk out. But he doesn't move. I almost tell him about my being bullied, but I figure that this is enough to dump on him for now. I can always tell him the rest later, if he even cares then.

Slowly, his eyes fill with tears, but they don't run over. "I'm so sorry, brother." He whispers. I blink. This isn't what was supposed to happen. He was supposed to hate me. My MIA emotions return suddenly and I choke back a sob. "I'm sorry that you ever felt that way and I'm sorry that you didn't think you could tell me. But you can. And you can tell Izzy too. Please, let us help you." He hugs me now and I freeze. I can barely understand what is happening. It just seems so… wrong. This isn't how people react when you tell them you are a monster. They are supposed to run. "Please say you will, Alec. I won't tell Izzy if you don't want me to, but please, at least let me try to help. I love you."

Those three words pierce through my heart and I stop breathing for a moment. "Okay." I nod after what feels like an eternity. "Okay." I repeat and hug Jace back with all the strength I have. "I love you too." We stay like that for a long time with Jace comforting me and me slowly explaining what I've been feeling over the years. When we both finally stand up he asks if I am going to tell Izzy. I sigh, "I should, I guess. But… What if she hates me?"

At that, Jace smacks the back of my head, making me jump. "Don't be an idiot. She could never hate you. If you want to tell her, do it. Don't you dare hold back because of something as stupid as that."

"Will you come with me?" I ask, sounding like a little child. He nods and we walk to Izzy's room. We only have to knock once before the door flies open.

"Alec, are you okay?" She asks, noticing my bandaged arm and bloodshot eyes.

"I-I'm fine. I—please don't hate me—but I…" Unable to form words, I roll up my sleeves and she gasps. Jace answers her questions since I still can't speak. "I'm so sorry." I finally manage to mutter.

"I'll kill that man." She says, "I'll kill him if it's the last thing I do. He has the audacity to call himself our father while he is doing this?"

"He doesn't know, Izzy." I say.

"_Don't you dare defend that beast!_ It doesn't matter if he knows! It is his fault! He made you hurt and for that I'll murder him!" She insists.

"Iz, that's illegal. I don't want you getting thrown into prison." I try to make light of the situation but fail miserably.

"Screw the law! He deserves to be put down." She says with considerably less zeal than before. "Fine. I won't kill him… As long as you don't cut anymore."

"I-I don't know if I can… I can't promise that, Iz. I'm sorry but…" I start to shake my head.

"Then at least try. And let us help if we can." She practically begs.

I deflate and nod. "I can promise that, I guess. And since I'm being all honest… I get bullied, at school. Um Johnathan and Sebastian… They assault me occasionally and yeah…"

"Those pricks, I've always known something was off about them" Jace growls. "They won't touch you ever again if I have any say in it."

**Magnus' POV**

In the morning, I take extra care with my appearance while silently berating myself for dressing up for a boy. Mom had to go in to work early so I am forced to scavenge for my breakfast. I end up just getting a bowl of cereal since everything else sounds like too much work. When it is time to go, I make sure my makeup is all as it should be then hop into my minivan and drive to school. The whole way there I try to calm down, but I am nervous about seeing Alec again. I am definitely going to grill him on what happened after I left. If his father is hurting him, I want to know so I can turn the bastard in.

I spot Alexander at his locker almost immediately and notice that Jace and Izzy are both with him. Usually they all go their separate ways at school. My gut tightens. Does this mean that something happened yesterday? I notice that, when Sebastian and Johnathan pass by Alec, Jace and Izzy take off after them. "They won't kill them, will they?" I ask Alec. He flinches a little, but I try not to let it get to me.

Forcing a smile, he says, "I had to force them to swear not to."

"Good." Turning my attention to the blue eyed angel at my side I bite my lip, "Are you okay? I mean, did anything happen yesterday?"

He stiffens and his breathing quickens. I touch his shoulder lightly, half expecting him to shatter, or at least run away. But instead, he sighs and calms down, surprising me. "Uh, yea, something did happen, but, I'm fine now. Really."

"If you weren't, would you tell me?"

He swallows thickly, "I don't know. Probably not."

I frown, but then loop my arm though his. He looks at me with confusion, "What? The bell's about to ring, we need to get to class." He rolls his eyes, not fooled by my lame excuse, but he doesn't pull away which makes me smile widely. When I do, he cocks his head adorably. "What now?"

"Your eyes." He says then blushes, "It's nothing…" When he looks at the ground, I practically melt into a puddle. He really has to stop being to adorable all of the time or I won't be able to restrain myself. During class, he starts over oh his portrait of me. However, I can't seem to get into the swing of art, instead, I loose myself in my thoughts.

I don't want to push him, but if Alec's father is anything like mine, I can't bear the thought of them living under the same roof. I guess I could just be jumping to conclusions, but when I remember my father tying me down and making me watch as he beat my mother, I don't care. I just want to make sure Alec is okay. I know I shouldn't be getting this emotionally involved with someone, but I can't seem to help myself. You'd think a guy would learn after getting his heart broken again and again, but maybe I'm just thick.

"You're staring." Alec informs me with red cheeks, pulling me out of my melancholy haze.

"Seems so," I reply nonchalantly. He manages to blush even deeper. And when I wrap my feet around one of his ankles under the table his tomato impression is perfected.

"Ah… y-you… class is over." He stutters. Surprised, I glance at the clock. I guess I lost track of the time while I was daydreaming. I stand and stretch, satisfied with the wide eyed look Alec is gives me when my shirt rides up a little. When I wink, he scrambles to get all of his stuff together and I walk him to his next class since we have plenty of time and I'm usually late anyways.

As he drops off his art supplies at his locker, Johnathan approaches him. I glare at the boy, ready to defend Alec if need be. "You little cunt. You really cried to your siblings? As if that will help. Watch your back." He whispers so only Alec and I can hear. Alec starts to shake and I grab his hand.

"Eat my ass, Johnathan. You won't dare harm him, not with Jace's influence going against you. And you should know firsthand how terrifying Isabelle can get if you mess with her." I snip, stepping in front of Alec slightly. Johnathan just gives me a disgusted look. I can't believe I used to be friends with him at one point.

"And you…"He acts like he didn't hear a word I just said. "Do you really want me to expose your pathetic past to the whole school? Because that is what I'll do if you keep getting in my way."

"I'll repeat myself: eat my ass, Johnathan." I sneer and he finally leaves. Behind me, I notice that Alec is still shaking. "Hey, you'll be alright." I tell him, still holding his hand.

"Yeah, okay…" He takes a few deep breaths before trying to smile at me. It isn't very convincing, but it'll do. "What did he mean b-by your past?"

"That…" I have to fight to keep my façade up, "It's nothing. You'd be bored."

"I wouldn't." He assures me. "You don't have to… But, if you want, you can tell me and I promise I'll listen." Now _I'm _the one at a loss for words.

"Thank you, Alexander." I tell him earnestly and realize that I'm beginning to fall for this blue eyed beauty. _Hard._ I just hope he doesn't break me. I don't know how many more times I can put my broken heart back together.

_**AN: Okay so guys listen up… Do you want me to make longer chapters and probably publish less often or do shorter, more frequent chapters?  
ALSO please review! It makes me so happy when you guys do. I hope you all liked this, but if not feel free to tell me. **_


	6. Leaving

_**AN: Please comment on whether you would rather shorter, more frequent chapters, or longer ones that may take longer.**_

**Alec's POV**

I did not expect Magnus to stand up for me like that, being fairly certain that the bathroom even was a one-time thing. And then the melancholy look on his face afterwards has me shaken. But then again, I also saw him smile with his whole being this morning, which was astonishing. I also finished my sketch of him during Ms. Fray's class. I'll re-draw it at home to fix some detailing, but all-in-all, I'd say today was good.

I'm smiling when Max clambers into the car. He gets a quizzical look on his face and asks what happened. I roll my eyes; he always does this when he sees me in a good mood. "Does it have to do with the boy Izzy was telling me about? Magnus? She said something about "seeing a future" between you guys." He continues in his weirdly intelligent voice for a little kid.

I flush, even though I'm sure he didn't understand Izzy's meaning. "It does, actually." I nod and he grins widely.

"Good. You need friends. You don't really seem to have any."

"I have Simon!" I protest.

"Only because you were forced to befriend each other since you didn't talk to anyone else."

"He still counts." I insist. Max makes a patronizing. I frown. Why is he acting like the adult trying to get his kid to be more social? I'm the big brother here. "_Anyways_, how was practice, kid?"

"Great! Coach said that I could be goalie or a defensive midfielder. But Cyle and Tom want to be midfielders, so I'll probably end up as a goalie. That's okay, though, since it is my favourite position!" He informs me excitedly. "Oh! And Coach also said that our first game is next month, March seventh!" I smile. He loves his sport so much, I have no doubt that he could make it his profession when he grows up.

"That's cool. Do you know what time?" I ask him.

"Yup! Eleven o'clock."

"Alright, I'll mark it down when we get home."

The rest of the drive, Max tells me about a new manga he has started reading, Library Wars. I nod along at what I hope are the appropriate times. I have tried many times to get into anime stuff, but I just couldn't. When we get home, Dad is yelling at Jace for staying the night at Clary's. I take Max to his room then come back. "Is it so hard for you to control your dick that—" My Dad was shouting.

"Again, we didn't do anything. It wouldn't be any of your business if we did, either." Jace scoffs. His unflappable nature makes it easier for him to handle Dad than it is for me.

"NOT MY BUSINESS? I am your father!—"

"Actually, no." Jace cuts him off again, which probably wasn't the best idea. However, before Dad lands his blow, the door opens and Mom walks in.

"ROBERT! What do you think you're doing?!" She gasps at the scene. I tense, she doesn't know just how bad he has gotten and we weren't planning on telling her. She is stressed enough without this.

"Marlene, nothing, I—Jace was—he spent the night at Clary's and I wanted to—" Dad stutters.

"Wanted to what? Clary is his girlfriend and has been for some time now. It is not your decision what our son does. It is his decision. Now get out of my sight. I'll not have you lay a finger on Jace, or any of our children." She snarls. When he doesn't move, she yells, "GO!" He obeys fearfully, leaving the three of us alone. "Are you okay, honey?" She asks Jace. He nods and smiles. "Where's Izzy?"

"She is at the mall with some friends." Jace tells her.

"Good, good… How long has this been going on?" She addresses both of us now. I look away, not meeting her eyes. Jace just shrugs uncomfortably. Mom sighs, "That long? I'm sorry I hadn't noticed… Now that I think back… Nevermind. We can't do anything about that. But don't worry, he will not be under the same roof as any of you soon. I'll file for a divorce. Since it was his inheritance, I'm sure he'll get the house, but I've always thought we needed to down size a bit. How about you two?"

Jace grins and we make eye contact. Neither of us thought she'd react like this, but we were both grateful for it. "Definitely." We say in unison and are wrapped in out mother's arms.

"Max is in his room, right?" She asks me. I nod. "Okay… Oh, how will we explain this to him?"

"He is a smart kid, Mom. I'm sure it'll be hard on him… Dad has never gone off on him before, but I think he has heard him from other parts of the house, so I'm sure he'll understand." I say reassuringly. I almost can't believe it. We'll be free of that monster.

With a decided nod, Mom goes off, probably to Max's room, leaving Jace and I in the entry way. He is wearing a huge grin. "I guess I'll have to thank Clary for that next I see her."

I burst out in laughter. "You guys really didn't do anything? You're crazy about her."

"It's not that I didn't want to… But she wants to wait until marriage to have sex and is pretty reserved about physical contact so I didn't want to pressure her."

I laugh again, "Oh man, you are so whipped." He just smiles wider and we go to the kitchen for a snack and to process that we are _actually_ going to be leaving.

**Magnus' POV**

On the drive home, I nearly chewed a hole in my lip, worrying about my feelings toward Alec mostly and getting lost in past mistakes. I groan, I'm not even 100% sure that he is gay. If I could help it, as soon as our projects together were finished, we'd go back to passing acquaintances, but now… I don't think I can let that happen. _Stupid. You always fell in love too fast._ I mentally berate myself as I turn off the car and walk in to my house. "Mom! I'm home!" I call.

"Hey, Maggy! I thought you'd be at your friend's for the report and such." She replies from what sounds like the bathroom.

"Nah, he has to pick up his kid brother on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Besides, we are practically finished, even though we have more time. I guess we'll just perfect everything before turning it in." I say, partially to myself.

"My Magnus? Perfecting his schoolwork instead of doing the bare minimum? You're not sick, are you? Or is this because of your "friend"?" She says suggestively. I can't fight the smile that pops onto my lips, but shake my head.

"Mom, I don't even know whose team he plays for."

"Hmm, I think you should find out a.s.a.p. then." She tells me.

"_Mooooom_." I groan, "It'd probably be better if he is straight anyways."

"Oh honey, we've talked about this. You can't run from any chance of love just because of what happened in the past. I know it's been hard for you, but when you find the right person, it will all be worth it."

"And how do _you_ know?" I say bitterly, immediately regretting it.

"I suppose you're right. I'm still looking for the right person too, but I won't give up, not even after your father. So you shouldn't either." She smoothens my hair, dislodging some of the glitter.

"Thanks, Mom." I nod then start to grin. "I held his hand today. When I was trying to defend him from Johnathan, I grabbed his hand and he didn't let go until we had to part to go to our classes."

She laughs, both of us glad that the tense atmosphere is gone, "And you don't think he is gay why?"

"I didn't say I didn't suspect. I just don't know for sure." I retort and she gives me a knowing smile. She's right, I know she is. But I still have to be careful. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't know if I could handle another heart break. That is why I should stick to one time flings. But… they haven't interested me lately. _He_ interests me. _Uuuugh. You're hopeless, Magnus._ I moan and rub my face.

_**AN: This month, someone from Argentina has viewed my story. HELLO WHOEVER YOU ARE! And HELLO TO THE REST OF YOU AS WELL! Sorry, I'm practically addicted to that traffic graph thing.  
Anyways, please, please, please review with whether you want long or shorter chapters, how you think I'm doing portraying the characters etc… I really want to know your opinion!**_


	7. Panic

_**AN: So, I always appreciate reviews! In case you have forgotten. :3**_

When I arrive at school the next day, Alec is talking animatedly with his siblings and Clary. I strut over to them with a grin. Isabelle hugs me; Jace gives me a reluctant nod; Clary waves; and Alec smiles. "You three seem to either be celebrating something or plotting…" I inform them with a raised eyebrow.

"Mom, Izzy, Jace, Max and I are moving out." Alec tells me happily.

"Wait… He knows about your dad?" Clary asks.

"I kind of found out on accident when I went over to work on our project." I supply, smiling widely now. "That's good news, Alec!" I want to hug him, but I'm not sure he is up for that much physical contact just yet, so I settle on patting his shoulder. Jace eyes me suspiciously while Izzy beams and Clary raises both eyebrows, looking overly questioning. So Alec's parents are divorcing… That's good, but it shouldn't be. I hate that people get to be so twisted that their own children and spouse would want nothing more to be away from them. That thought kills my happy mood a little, but I don't let it show.

"Well, I'm off." Isabelle states and bows for effect before leaving to get to class. Jace and Clary follow suit, without the bow, leaving me and Alec alone. Well, we're in the middle of a packed hallway, but you get the point.

Alec is quiet for a while and I start to get concerned so I nudge his shoulder. He looks up at me with sad eyes. "This is a good thing, right? If we leave…"

"Alexander, yes it's a good thing. Your father is an abusive ass. It is definitely good for all of you to get away from him." I assure him.

He looks down and mumbles as if speaking to the floor, "But what if it makes him worse and he tries to come after us? I don't doubt that he would do such a thing."

I raise his face so I'm looking into his eyes. "He might, but I swear to every holy deity that he will not harm you. I won't let him. And if you're worried about the others, Jace has Clary to protect him and Izzy is terrifying so I'm sure she will be fine. All of you will be there for Max, and if her children are anything like her, your mother will be able to take care of herself perfectly well. So try not to worry."

His chin quivers ever so slightly and he bites his lip, nodding. It takes superhuman strength not to sweep him into my arms, but I manage. "Thank you, Magnus. Sorry for always freaking out like this…" He says.

"Don't apologize." I tell him sternly. I won't have any of that. "Alexander, you're going through a tough time. But you'll get through it. Just, don't apologize for things that aren't your fault, okay?"

"But it is…" He says so quietly I barely hear him. His eyes widen after he says that and he backs away, he probably did not mean to speak aloud. "I-I have to go." He stutters and makes his way to class. How I wish our schedules were the same. What did he mean it was his fault? I want to go after him, but instead I turn away and walk in the opposite direction, every step being more difficult than the last.

**Alec's POV**

_Oh fuck. I said that out loud._

I pull away from Magnus, his hand falling from where it had been resting on my neck, and practically run to class. For once I am on time. I can't believe I admitted that this was all my fault. Now what will he think of me. What kind of kid causes their parents to get a divorce, screwing it up for their siblings as well? I know for a fact that it was when Dad found out I was gay that he started acting like a maniac.

I must have been twelve or thirteen; at the time, we had a good relationship and I thought I could trust him. So, one day I asked him why I didn't think about girls the same way other boys my age did. I thought they were pretty, most of them anyways, but nothing more than that. At first he told me I just hadn't matured enough yet to think that way. Then I made the epic mistake of confessing that I felt something for boys that I didn't for girls. He went into a rage then, telling me that there was no way that his son way gay. He said that I was disillusioned and being a stupid kid. He told me that it was a sickness, but he didn't want to send me somewhere to treat it because then people would know that he had a gay son. So he said that I had better stop. That's right, my father told me to stop being gay. I still wonder how he thought I could accomplish that.

Anyways, it was after that night that he began to go on rages and hurt me. After a while he'd hurt Jace too, then Izzy. At least he had never harmed Max. If he had, I'd have killed the man. And now Magnus knows, not the details, but he knows that I caused this whole mess. I'm glaring at the clock so hard that I'm surprised it didn't shatter. This day could not end soon enough, and if I could avoid Magnus, that'd be swell.

When the bell rang, I hurried to get my art supplies for next period, narrowly managing to avoid Johnathan on the way. Unfortunately, he tracked me down. I groan. Doesn't he have anything better to do? "What?" I snap out at him. "I'm in a bit of a hurry and would rather keep this short."

"Oh would you? I thought we could take a little walk, you and me, as buds." He smiles innocently.

"Screw you." I match his expression and try to push past him. If I stay here too long, Magnus will find me. I have to hide in a bathroom stall then get to Ms. Fray's class just as the bell rings. But Johnathan doesn't like my plan; he shoves me back, my head banging against the locker. "Ahh!" I yell out, grabbing the attraction of a few passersby. None of them do anything through. "Let go!" I beg, but he keeps a firm grip on my hair.

"I thought you liked it rough, fag." Johnathan sneers.

I really don't have the time for this. "Just get it over with. Hit me and go away." I sigh.

He chortles, drawing back a fist, and I close my eyes. The impact never comes though and I am released. My eyes crack open to see Izzy standing in front of a doubled over Johnathan. She knocks his feet out from under him then steps close to his balls with her high heeled shoe. "Try something like that and I'll destroy your manhood." She threatens in a low voice. He nods and scampers away. Magnus was right, Izzy is terrifying. "Are you okay, Alec?" My sister questions me with a worried expression. I nod and offer her a smile that may look more like a grimace.

Before I get to speak, I see a familiar, sparkly form walking towards us. "Uh—I got to go. See you at lunch?" I say, not giving her time to reply, and hurry to the bathrooms. There is no one else in there, so I rush into the first stall and lock myself in, drawing up my feet.

"Alexander?" Magnus' voice calls a few moments later. "Are you in here?" I hear him walk directly towards my stall. Maybe it wasn't so great that no one else was in here, he must know it's me. "Izzy told me about Johnathan. Are you okay?"

Ignoring him wouldn't work; even I knew that, so I let down my feet and sighed. "I'm fine, it isn't that. I just… Can you forget about what I said earlier?" I ask stupidly.

"No, but I swear I won't pry, Alec." He tells me. My shoulders hunch forward and I want to cry… or cut. I feel the blade in my hoodie pocket. "Are you going to come out?" Magnus asks. Now that the thought has come into my head, I can't shake it. I _need_ to cut. But I can't do that with Magnus less than two feet away. I open the knife and run my thumb along it. "Alexander? Are you alright?" I barely register his voice, drawing out the blade; I roll up my sleeve and lightly touch my skin. Why am I so screwed up? I'm finally getting away from my father and I'm still a mess. I should be happy. One slice. And how could I be so stupid as to say what I did to Magnus? I know he won't care that I'm gay since I'm fairly sure that he is too, but he'll think I'm horrible for making my dad into a monster. Another slice. Oh that feels good. And the blood swelling to the surface of my skin looks so perfect, the contrast between pale white and bold red is mesmerizing. I remember Izzy coming to my rescue earlier. Why am I so helpless? Cut again. I'm such a hindrance to Izzy and Jace, they keep going out of their way for me. And again.

My head starts to clear and I take a deep breath. I don't hear Magnus now, he must have gone. Good, I will be able to clean up. Just to be sure, I take a peek under the stall door. I don't see any feet so I open the door and grab a few towels before turning to the sink. Yellow/green eyes are locked on me. I can't move. "Alexander?" A quiet voice sounds… It is much softer than usual. It sounds scared too. Or maybe that's just me. I'm definitely scared.

I never really got why a deer would just stand still when it's about to get hit by a car. It should just hop out of the way, it would be safer then. But at this moment, I got it. Deer in the headlights… I guess that was me now. About to be destroyed because I was too stupid.

"I thought you'd gone." I barely manage to get out the words. It's like everyone is suddenly finding out about my monstrous habit. Who's next? Mom? Dad? Maybe Mr. Hodge or or Clary? I wanted nothing more than to slam my head against the wall, but I still couldn't move.

Magnus seems to be suffering the same affliction, but I recover before he does and get to cleaning up the blood that has dripped onto the floor while we were staring. I work mechanically. Wipe off the floor. Get new towels. Clean knife. Put it away. New towels. Wash off arm then hold pressure for a while. It is during the last part that Magnus recovers. Suddenly, tears fill his eyes and he starts breathing quickly and heavily. He doesn't seem to be getting enough air and falls from the counter. It is then that I realize he is having a panic attack. Oh no. Shit. Crap. Fuck.

_Okay, calm down, Alec. _I don't know what to do. Even though I get them occasionally as well, I have no idea how to help him. _Well try something!_ His breathing is sporadic. I decide to attempt addressing that. "M-Magnus. C-c-calm d-down." Damn my stutter, making an appearance when I least need it. "Breathe. I-it's okay. You're okay. J-just breathe with me, o-okay?" I keep eye contact with him. If he keeps up like this, I know he'll pass out. That's how it happens with me, anyways. "Match my breaths." I say slowly so as not to stutter. I grab his hand with the one not currently holding pressure on my arm and breathe deeply. "Come on. Breathe with me." I continue talking in as a soothing voice as I can. "D-deep breaths." I tell him and exhale. Then inhale. Then repeat. Slowly he stops hyperventilating. By the time he is done, I am able to take the towels off of my arm and roll down my sleeve. "Are you okay?" I ask shyly. I was worried what he'd think of my before… Now… By the Angel. I'm screwed.

He is concentrating on breathing so it takes a few seconds for him to reply, "I don't know." He takes another breath. "We need to talk, but for now, let's just go to class. After school…"

"Okay. Um… I—Can we not go to my house? I just…"

"Yeah. Uh, here is my address." He scribbles something on a new paper towel and hands it to me. "Alec… Never mind. Let's get to class." And so, we completely ignored the scene in the bathroom for the rest of the school day.

At lunch, Izzy asked me why I ran off all of the sudden and I told her I just had to pee. I think I played it off pretty well. That or her mind was occupied with something else. Either way, she took me at my word.

After English Lit, I told Jace that I was going to Magnus' for our project and he confirmed that he would tell Max and Izzy and Mom. Then I got into my car and took out Magnus' address. Maybe I shouldn't go. It is bound to be awful, whatever happens. Maybe we could just keep going like we did today. Forget about everything. Forget about each other. But no, that idea doesn't sit well with me, so I start the car and drive to Magnus' house, albeit slowly.

_**AN: Bit of a cliffy, sorry about that, but I think this is a good place to end. I'm a bit emotional right now… I get like that whenever I wright. I literally feel what they are feeling. My palms are so sweaty it isn't even funny. Ugh, I am not looking forward to writing the next scene.  
Well… I kind of am, but at the same time I'm not.**_

_**Review!**_


	8. Memories

_**AN: Konnichiwa! I'll be away at a horrid summer camp for my awful church from the 24**__**th**__** to the 29**__**th**__**. So, no posting then. I might get something up right after, though.**_

**Alec's POV**

I have to force myself to ring the doorbell. Oh gods… This won't turn out well, I can feel it. Sure Jace and Izzy are sticking around, but they're family. Magnus has no reason to continue even speaking to me. And, as much as I hate to admit it, that really hurts. Much more than anything Johnathan or Sebastian have hurt me.

A woman opens the door with a smile, she looks like Magnus. "M-Mrs. Bane? I'm Alec." I introduce myself and shake her hand.

"I'm aware; Magnus is waiting for you in his room." She tells me, smiling. "I have to go back in to work… Just call me if either of you need anything. He knows the number." I nod. "Oh, and Alec… I don't know what's happened, but he's been through a lot. Just bear that in mind, okay?" She says sadly. I nod and bite my lip, entering the house when she walks toward her car.

"Magnus?" I call into the seemingly vacant house. Their living room is very homey with a log-cabin feel to it; there is even a stone fire place. But from what I can see of the kitchen, it is very sleek and modern. I don't get a chance to notice much else before Magnus' door opens and he steps out slowly, not smiling for once.

"Hey." He almost whispers, he is bare foot with smeared makeup and it looks like he has been crying. I feel like someone stabbed me. _I_ made him look like that. "I guess we should talk, huh?"

"Yeah… I-I'm really sorry you saw that. I thought you had left." I tell him.

"I know. You said. Just—remember when you said you'd listen if I ever wanted to tell you about my past?" He asks, keeping eye contact with me. I nod a bit hesitantly. You don't usually tell your life story to someone if you are planning on never associating with them again, so what was this? "Well, I guess it started with my dad as well. But first, sit. I'll make some tea." His voice sounds rough and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't absolutely hypnotizing. I obey him and take a seat on the soft couch, kicking off my shoes and pulling my legs under myself.

I watch him as he heats up some instant tea and adds two spoons of sugar in each. His hand seems to be shaking a bit but his expression is strictly neutral. Once he is finished, he returns to the living room and sits a few inches away from me on the couch, drawing his legs up as well to face me. We sip our tea for a few seconds in silence before he begins speaking. "My father was abusive to my and mom. For a long time I didn't really understand why—I was too young. But by the time I was thirteen, I knew that he was sick mentally. He was bipolar, paranoid, and had some bad anger issues. It was around that time that he started getting worse. Before he would just hit us when he got mad, but now he would trap us and actually make a show of beating us, making the other watch. I didn't know that there was anything we could do and I think mom was too afraid, but when he started using knives, a neighbor noticed and called the cops.

"I was sixteen when he was finally imprisoned and I haven't seen him since, but for about six months afterwards, m-mom got suicidal." His voice cracks and, instinctively, I grab the hand not holding his tea. "S-she tried to hang herself the first time. Then she tried drowning, but both times I got to her before any permanent damage could be done. Next she ODed, that was scary because I didn't know if she'd make it, but the medics got her to puke it all out and she turned out fine. Her last attempt… she slit her wrists and ankles and tried to bleed out. Thankfully our neighbor—the same one who called the cops on my father—stopped by to give us some banana bread." He laughs a little at that, but he is still shaking and his eyes are misty. "She had to have a blood transfusion and she flat lined for ten seconds. I was terrified." He admits and sets his tea on the coffee table. I do the same, holding his hand with both of mine, trying to give him an anchor so he doesn't lose himself in his memories. It seems to work because his eyes focus on me. "A-and when I saw your arms I… I didn't mean to lose it, I just remembered…" He can't say any more because a sob shakes his body.

"Magnus, it's okay. Your mom is fine. So am I." I tell him, though I'm not so sure about the last part.

"N-n-no." He says stubbornly. "I know what that does to people. Mom isn't the only one who has cut herself that I—that I care about. My first girlfriend cut and ended up being schizophrenic. The last boyfriend I had cut to and when word got out, it ruined his life and he turned into—he started to remind me of my father…" He starts to cry now, turning his head away.

"Oh… Oh Magnus, that's—" I bite my lip, stopping myself. I doubt I could say much to make him feel better. So I just draw him closer and wrap myself around him. I'm not normally one for physical contact, especially if I don't know the person well, but—I do know him. He's Magnus. He stands up to bullies and stares at me in art class and wears bazar clothing. He had a bad past, but he is a beautiful person. That's all I need to know as I try to soothe him. "Shh, shh," I whisper and start to hum the first song that pops into my head: "Missing You" by All Time Low. Maybe not the best song to cheer someone up, but it was all I had at the moment.

After I went through the song once, I felt him shudder out a sigh and bury his head in my chest. When I finish it for the third time, he finally looks up. We don't say anything; we just stare into each other's eyes. His are all bloodshot and pained, but they are still beautiful; two swirls of emerald and gold.

**Magnus' POV**

His eyes are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. They seem so soft and comforting and endless, like they will always be here for me to seek refuge in them. But, after seeing his arms earlier, I've begun to fear that they won't be here as long as I'd hoped. "Alec." I say with my coarse voice. I had already cried when I first got home for a minute before pulling it together, and now I sounded like a frog. "Please, please, please stop. I don't want you to hurt yourself." I almost beg. As much as I want to be around him, if he keeps on doing this, I'll have to leave for self-preservation. Maybe that is a selfish move, but I can't take any more of this kind of thing.

He bites his lip and sighs. "Monday, Jace and Izzy found out. I promised them that I would try. I didn't mean to today. It was like I wasn't in control. I swear I'm trying to stop." He says desperately and I believe him, maybe only because that is what I want to hear. However, his voice and body language seem to scream that he is being honest.

"Okay. Okay, I believe you." I say, relieved. "And I'll help if I can. If you ever want to let off steam and can't get one of them, or if you just don't want to talk with them, I'll be here." He nods a few times and squeezes his eyes shut. When a single tear runs down his face, I wipe is off with the pad of my thumb, causing his breath to hitch. I'm pretty sure by this point that he is attracted to me, but in a way I wish I weren't. I won't pursue a relationship with him until he figures out his own life a little more. I know how burdensome that can be and I refuse to put that stress on him. "Let me wash off my face then we can watch a movie, I already finished the report last night." I say when we separate. He nods and gives me a brave smile. I return the gesture.

When I come back, he is sitting crisscross on the couch with his left arm extended over the back of it. The shirt is wearing is just tight enough to see his muscles and I suppress a sigh. I hope he pulls himself together quickly, for my sake. I'm not sure how much of him I can handle before I can't resist any more. I admire him for a few seconds longer than socially acceptable, but who cares, his eyes are closed and no one else is here. His shoulder length black hair looks so soft, I want to run it through my fingers and his lips are perfectly sculpted for ki—_Whoa. Keep it platonic, remember?_ I scold myself and sit next to him.

I turn on the TV. To keep my thoughts PG, I ask him if he'd ever seen Howls Moving Castle. He informs me that he has, indeed, not seen that particular masterpiece and I insist that we change that, putting in the disk. I make each of us another cup of tea before sitting down again and pressing "play"._HHHhh and_


	9. Another Day

_**AN: Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I couldn't really find the motivation to write, or do much else, after camp. It was really draining and it was a Christian Baptist church so their beliefs that they tried to pound into me are opposite of mine for the most part. But you don't care about that, you're here for Malec, and Malec I shall provide. Also, I plan to make this a rather long fic, hopefully forty or fifty chapters if not more, so if I ever don't post for a while it is because I just haven't updated, not because I'm ending it. I'll tell you guys when I plan to end it. **_

**Alec POV**

After the movie comes on (Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief), the heavy atmosphere dissipates. Magnus goes on about how outrageously traitorous the Percy Jackson movies are. I have to agree with him on most points, but I've learned to disassociate crappy movies from their books so it really doesn't bother me. During Luke and Percy's battle, I ask, "If you hate it so much why did you pick it?"

"Because," He says, holding a finger in the air. I almost smile at his peppy attitude. "Jake Abel." I chortle and shake my head. "Don't mock me, Alexander. Just look at him!" Magnus defends himself, grinning. "He is the reason I started watching Supernatural, too, though I'm disappointed that he isn't in it often…"

"You're odd." I inform the boy beside me.

"Indeed," He nods sagely for a few moments before bursting into laughter and I follow suit, more because I'm glad he is still being my friend than anything else. Words cannot capture the relief I felt when I realized that he wouldn't leave me. However, the intensity of that relief terrifies me. I have not known him long, so why do I feel so strongly about him? I sigh internally and turn my attention to the gods and demigods on the screen, wincing at Poseidon's awkward attempt to be fatherly.

Once the credits begin to roll, Magnus announces, "Now we have to watch a decent movie to get that rubbish out of our systems." I roll my eyes as he chooses another movie: Avengers. Before Natasha even convinces Bruce to come with her, my eyes start to droop. A few minutes later, I feel a weight on my shoulder. When I turn to look, I see Magnus' glittery hair and sigh, letting myself fall sleep as well.

**Magnus' POV**

My eyes open slowly and I wince at the bright light coming in from the kitchen. Wait, why can I see the kitchen? It takes me a while to remember what happened yesterday. When I do, I can't help but release a sigh and look at the blue eyed beauty whom I accidentally fell asleep on the night before. He told me that he is trying to quit his self-destructive behavior and I believe him, but I hope he manages to get himself put together soon for his sake and for mine. I gently brush back a strand of hair that had fallen into his face then pull myself to my feet.

"Oh, good morning dear. Did I wake you?" Mom half-whispers from the kitchen.

"It's fine, what time is it?"

"Almost six. I take it everything's okay?" She asks considerately.

I chew my lip contemplatively for a few seconds, "I'm not sure, but I think it will be."

She nods, not asking for clarification of my vague answer, for which I am grateful. "You should probably wake your boyfriend up soon."

"He's not my boyfriend mom, and I don't think I'll even ask for a while. He doesn't need to be focusing on a relationship at the moment, especially with someone as high maintenance as my magnificent self." I try to joke in order to steer the conversation away from this topic. Mom laughs and simply goes back to making pancakes.

She's right though, he should probably wake up soon. I go back to the couch and nudge his shoulder lightly. "Go away, church." He grumbles sleepily, keeping his eyes shut. I laugh and poke him in the chest.

"Oi, it is a school day." I inform him and he jerks, nearly falling off of the couch.

"Huh? Why—Oh shit, mom's probably worried…" He starts worrying, but mom puts an end to it.

"It's okay, I texted her when I got home last night, she knows you're here. And she told me to let you know that she'd be able to take Max to school today." My wonderful mother tells him.

"Oh, thank you, ma'am." Alec says.

"Don't ma'am me," Mom scrunches up her nose, "it makes me feel old, something which I simply refuse."

"Okay," Alec nods and I see the sides of his mouth twitch up for a split second.

"Pancakes are ready." She announces a minute later, "I've got to head in now. You two make sure to get to school on time."

"Okay mom, I love you." I hug her and she tries to kiss my forehead, but, even on her tiptoes, she only reaches my cheek. I laugh a bit and she glares at me. When I turn around, Alec is already sitting at the table with a plate of syrup drenched pancakes. "I guess we forgot about dinner last night, huh?" I muse and make a plate of my own. We eat, for the most part, in silence; but it isn't awkward at all. I smile, for some reason most people feel like they always have to be talking when they're around me, and it makes me happy that Alec doesn't.

We finish our breakfast and I retrieve a new toothbrush for him to use. I wash the dishes while he is in the bathroom. When he comes out, I get dressed and do my makeup. Alexander watches, mesmerized, when I start on my eye liner. I feel like showing off so I make my sing tips a bit more fancy than usual. "You and Izzy are both so good at that." He says, "If I ever tried, I'd just end up blinding myself or something."

I smile, "It takes a ton of practice, honestly. Once when I was younger, I got some in my eye and it cleared up, but when mom and I watched the notebook that night, I cried and my tears were black." He grins and I feel a shard of triumph pierce me.

"That's actually pretty awesome." He laughs, making my smile wider.

"It was." I admit, then, after a few finishing touches, announce, "Finished!" After that, we both grab our stuff and drive our respective vehicles to school.

Despite the less than pleasant events of yesterday, I am in a genuinely good mood this morning, but when I see Johnathan in the halls on my way to my first class, a wave of anger washes over me. I'll make sure to stick to Alexander as much as I can so those douche bags can't bother him.

**Alec's POV**

At lunch, Magnus and I sat with my siblings and their friends and I was surprised to find Simon there as well. "Hey," I greeted him, "How is your project with the wench going?"

"Oddly, she found my rendition of her resting bitch face to be somehow insulting." He chuckles,  
"How's yours doing?"

"We're mostly done." I shrug and start nibbling on my "chicken nuggets" that tasted like no chicken I'd ever eaten before. I inadvertently tune out most of the conversation at the table, only catching a few snippets of conversation between Magnus and Izzy. I do, however, notice the numerous glances shared between said sister and Simon which I find intriguing. I would think that she likes him, but Izzy only ever goes for guys who are arses and bad for her. After pondering that for a while, I turn my attention to Magnus.

I'm glad he's back to his usually perky self, I hated seeing him cry yesterday. But him falling asleep on me makes me weirdly happy. Throughout the day, I notice that he is with me as often as possible, considering our varied schedules. I wonder why, until we are headed to English and I spot Johnathan and Sebastian. Before they even get near us, Magnus steers me away. I am touched by his protectiveness, but I immediately begin to feel like a burden to him which dampens my mood considerably.

_**AN: So, what'd you think?  
Sorry again for the delay, I practically had to force myself to write this, so hopefully I'll find some decent motivation soon. Anyways, R&amp;R! I'll try to update soon.**__HHHhh and_


	10. Friends

_**AN: Okay, I still don't feel like writing, so if this is utter crap… Sorry.**_

**Alec's POV**

Magnus and my drawings end up being the best in class, and we get a 100 on our English assignment. After those are done with, we only see each other at school and I realize just how much I had looked forward to meeting up with him at the end of each day. After a while of this, I mention my predicament to Izzy. "Oh? So you mean you don't merely think of him as 'an acquaintance' you had to work with as you've been trying to convince me?" She scoffs, making me duck my head. "Well I can't say it comes as a surprise, dear brother." She grins now, reminding me of the Cheshire cat, "And I have the perfect solution…" She informs me and then goes silent.

Once I realize that she's stopped talking, I cease my pacing of her room and look at her. Her king sized bed barely fits in her room in the new house, but she was adamant that we keep it, however, because it is shoved in here, she doesn't have room for anything else besides a desk and computer. That didn't stop her from claiming most of the cabinet space in the bathroom, though, so she still has all of her beauty supplies. "Well, are you going to tell me?" I ask impatiently. Yes, I'm fully aware of how childish I am being. I'm nearly an adult for the angel's sake! It seems like I'd be able to handle my own issues by now, but ever since my siblings made it clear that I could go to them for help, I've realize how much better that is than my normal routine of internalizing.

"Ask him out." She instructs me, like it is the most obvious thing in the world. I laugh. "Oh? Do you have a better idea?"

"Iz, thanks for the advice and all, but there is no way he even likes me like that. To him I'm just the guy with a crappy past and luggage, he sees me as something to fix, not as…"

"A romantic partner?" My lovely sister provides and I nod. "Well, I doubt that. I see the way you two interact. However, I will not push the subject just yet as you are more stubborn than any mule. Instead, I suggest going to a school function with him, like a basketball game or something."

"Neither of us care about watching strangers play sports." I roll my eyes and plop onto her fluffy bed.

"Oh, but Max's game is coming up in about two weeks…" She reminds me.

I analyze this idea for any bad vibes, but, unsuccessful in my search, I grin. "Thank you, dearest Izzy."

"That's why I'm here." She nods sagely as I run out of her room and down the short hall to my bedroom.

As soon as I enter, I scrunch my nose. I painted the walls a dark blue a week ago and, although it is dry, it still smells like paint. However, I ignore that and grab my phone, shooting a text to Magnus.

**Magnus' POV**

"Hun, work called in." Mom says to me through my closed door. I rush to open it and frown.

"On a Sunday? They don't usually have anything scheduled then because the doctor is so… Christian."

"Yeah, this one's an emergency. Or so I'm told. I don't know when I'll get back, so be good okay. And don't forget to feed the cat." She tells me. Said cat appears from under my bed at the mention of food.

"His name is Chairman Meow, mom."

"I refuse to acknowledge that. He should be Wittle Wiskers." She huffs.

"But, I beat you in rock-paper-scissors, so he is the Chairman." I stand my ground. "Wasn't that case an emergency?"

"I know you're just saying that to change the topic… But I guess I should go." She sighs dramatically before leaving the house. I roll my eyes and check on all the Chairman's things like his litterbox and food and water before heading back to my room. Just as I enter, my phone lights up and I slide the lock screen. Apparently I have a new message from Alexander of Camelot. I giggle at the inside joke we made from the time I first heard his whole name and then open it.

_Alexander of Camelot: Hi. Max is having his first football game on May 7__th__ at 11a, do you want to come?  
It's fine if you don't want to._

I smile, that is so like Alec.

_Magnus the Magnificent: I'd love to.  
How has your weekend been?_

I stare at my phone in anticipation, probably looking like a twelve year old talking to their crush. What can I say?

_A: Uh, not bad. My room has finally dried so I've moved all of my furniture back in.  
and um… I almost relapsed, bt I managed to go out and play with Max before I did  
anything._

_M: Good, I'm glad. You're going on a month clean now, right?_

_A: Yea c:_

I laugh then sigh. He really has been doing better, and he is more self-assured now than when we first started talking. I get to look into his blue eyes much more now that they aren't always trained on the ground and it makes me very happy.

For a while, I just stare at out short conversation, a huge smile on my face. Then I start typing again.

_M: I'm really glad to have met you, Alexander._

Because it had been so long since our last text, it surprises me when he responds within seconds.

_A: I am too, Magnus._

_**AN: If you're wondering about the time jump, I did it so I can start writing on their relationship without it being too fast. R&amp;R**_


	11. Victory

_**AN: Heyyyy! I've got my motivation back! You'll be seeing more of me from now on, dears. Also, for some reason, I've made the date 2016, so that is why May 7**__**th**__** is a Saturday.**_

**Magnus' POV**

The Friday before Max's game, Alec came to school with a heavy air surrounding him. Immediately, I ask what's wrong. "I saw my dad yesterday when I w-was at the mall with Iz." He tells me and I grab his hand.

"Are you okay?"

He nods uncertainly, "I think so, it's just… No, I'll get over it."

"If you're sure. However, you're out of his control now, remember that." I knock into his shoulder lightly and he nods, blushing faintly. "Good. I'll see you in art, Alexander." I smile as we part ways in the crowded hall.

My first class is, horrifyingly, with Johnathan, the shit drip. He doesn't make a show of harassing anyone though, so that's good. But it's still early. When the bell rings, I grab my things and head to Alec's locker, dropping by mine on the way. When I spot him, his shoulders are hunched and he is staring at his shoes as he shuffles through the mass of teens. I frown and wait by his locker. He straightens a little when he sees me and offers a poor excuse for a smile. I don't mention it because he looks like he is on the verge of a break. I wonder if his dad affected him that much or if it is something else.

I try to take his mind off of whatever it is, joking around like normal. I sit at the table with him and Simon during art and barely listen to Miss Fray, being too absorbed in trying to read my raven haired boy. _My? Where did that come from?_ I ask myself and sigh.

Lunch goes as it usually does and Alec seems a bit better, but I suspect he is acting for his siblings' sake. I know I'm right when I see him in our English class. When school is out, I snag his sleeve. "Come over to my house." I ask/demand.

"Why?" He chews his lip and I completely forget what I was about to say. Ugh, why does he have to be so dreamy?

"Because something is wrong and I want to help." I tell him when I regain some brain function. He seems to debate my plan but eventually nods, texting Jace to let him know. "Alright, come on then." I say and hop into my minivan. He follows behind me on his new motorcycle. Not to be a broken record, but by the angel he is dreamy.

When we get to my place, he pulls off his helmet and runs his hands through his soft locks to fix his helmet-head. "Mom, Alec is over; we're going to my room." I call as we pass the kitchen.

"Okay, have fun. Be safe." She smiles. Alec just laughs, being used to my mother's antics by now.

After closing my door, I ask, "So, what is really going on?" He slumps and looks at me like a lost puppy. I have no idea what to do, so I lead him over to my bed and sit us so we are facing each other. "Alec?"

"I'm trying, Magnus. I'm really trying to be happy and strong, like I never was. Mom and Iz and Max all believe that I'm better, only Jace has seen through me a few times, but… It's so hard, Mags." He confesses and it looks like he deflates. Any happiness I feel at the relatively new nickname is overshadowed by the desire to comfort him. I wrap him in a hug and rub his back as he clings to me.

"Alexander, you don't have to be happy all of the time. You're allowed to feel gloomy and mope around every once and a while. And you're wrong to say that you aren't strong because I know you are. Besides the fact that you have been clean an entire month, you dealt with your father for years with no one to lean on. I'm not condoning that, by the way, I just don't think you could have managed if you weren't so resilient." I tell him, but by the way he stiffens, I can tell he doesn't believe me about that last part. That's okay. I'll convince him eventually.

His hair tickles my chin and I decide to be brave. I bury my face in his hair sigh. A shiver runs through his body and I smile. After just enjoying the feeling for a moment, I speak again, "Please don't feel like you have to pretend, especially in front of me. Alec I l— I'm here for you." Thankfully, he doesn't notice my slight word fumble.

"I know, Magnus. And I'm sorry to be so troublesome. I guess I'm still not used to letting people in…" He says with his hands clenching my shirt.

"Of course you're not. But you are progressing, and that's enough." I assure him and he lets out a sob. As I rub his back and whisper sweet words, I can't help but curse myself. There is no going back for me now. I've begun to plummet down a cliff and either this boy with gorgeous blue eyes will catch me, or he'll watch as I hit the ground.

**Alec's POV**

Eventually, I regain some dignity and untangle myself from him. "Sorry. I'm gonna go wash up." I mumble and nearly sprint from his room. When I agreed to come over, I had planned on convincing him that I was fine, not pouring my heart out to him. While I'm in his bathroom, I spot his razor lying near the sink. It is the kind with replaceable blades, so it wouldn't be hard to get them out.

I stare at the seductive strips of metal for almost a minute before bolting back to Magnus' room. I swore that I'd never cut again, and I've broken my promise twice already. I won't do it again, not today, at least. "Whoa, you look frantic, is everything okay?" Magnus asks when I barge in. I nod, then a grin overtakes my face. I just walked away from a razor. It might not sound like much, but it is, nonetheless, a victory.

"It is, thanks, Mags." I say and hug him. This is the first time we've embraced that one of us was not on the verge of tears. It feels good. He makes a startled sound then relaxes and holds onto me. "Thank you so much. For everything." I whisper.

At this, he squeezes me tighter and laughs—a sound of pure happiness, "It was my pleasure!"

**AN: Addressing the issue of shorter or longer chapters, I guess I'll go with shorter, more frequent ones since that was the only suggestion.**


	12. Football

**AN: If ever you want to send me a suggestion for the story, I'm here.**

**Magnus' POV**

I spring out of bed at eight o'clock which is unusual for me since I'm not generally a before noon person. "Hey honey," My mom smiles when I make an appearance in the kitchen. "You're looking sharp, today's game day, isn't it?" I nod and prance about as I pour myself a bowl of cereal. "I hope you have fun. I'm covering for Shelli again."

"Aw, too bad. I'll tell you how it goes."

"Oh course you will. And I expect every single detail." She laughs.

I salute her, "Yes ma'am."

She leaves at nine and I am still bouncing around the house. I know I'm overly excited for Alec's little brother's game, but this is the first time Alec and I have seen each other outside of school or our houses; also because, if I find an opportunity, I plan on asking him on a date. I blush just thinking about it. Normally, I'm never like this when it comes to dating. Usually it is just… meh. And the few times it was something more, I still never got this excited.

But on the flip side, I can't help but worry that he'll reject me. I'd like to say that, if he did, I could shrug it off and keep on being his friend, but I feel too strongly about him to pretend I only like him platonically. If he does say no… I think that might be it for me on relationships of the romantic nature.

Luckily, I'm too giddy to ruminate over negative thoughts for long. I text Alec at ten, still full of energy that only seems to be building.

_M: It starts at eleven, right?_

I know it does, I've been anticipating this since he first told me about it.

_A: Yup, but we'll probably get there fifteen minutes early so Max can warm up with his team._

_M: Okay… Alexander, after the game, I want to talk to you if that's okay. There's nothing  
wrong, I just want to let you know now so I don't chicken out. _

_A: Okay? Now I'm curious, can't you tell me now?_

_M: Erh, no. I want to say it in person. Don't sweat it._

_A: Whatever you say.  
Max says to tell you hi._

_M: Hi Max, have fun today._

_A: He says thanks._

**Alec's POV**

Magnus shows up a few minutes after we do and I wave him over to my blanket that I'd spread over the grass. He sits next to me crisscross apple sauce and smiles, "Good morning, Alexander." I suppress the shiver that shoots through me every time I hear him say my full name.

"Hey, Magnus. Max is really happy you've come." I inform him, pretending not to notice that our knees are touching.

"I'm happy to be here. So, is your he any good?" He asks.

I nod, "Yup. He's the best on the team and is improving very quickly."

"I should have known he was as talented as his brother." Magnus glances at me and I flush.

"I…"

Before I can form a sentence, he laughs and pulls me in for a quick hug. When our heads are close he whispers, "You look adorable when you blush." Of course, this only causes me to redden more. Magnus has always had a flirty personality, but the last couple of months; he seems to have upped the antics. When I mused about this to Iz, she was certain that this meant he is into me, but I just don't see how that could be true. It'd be amazing if it was, but I won't get my hopes up because I'll surely be disappointed.

"What's on your mind?" Magnus asks out of nowhere as I watch Max stretch on the sidelines. I stutter out a few incoherent words and am saved from making a bigger fool of myself when the game starts.

Max does really well, even better than he does in practice. I find myself cheering loudly when he blocks the ball and it makes me happy that Magnus cheers him on as well. During half time, I get nachos for Magnus and myself. We chow down for about five minutes before it is all gone. Then we clean up and sit on our blanket again. I spot Jace a ways away with Clary and Iz with Mom and Simon. He's been hanging around Izzy a lot, but so far neither of them has made a move.

Suddenly, I feel a weight on my shoulder and I jolt but quickly relax when I realize that Magnus is resting his head on me. "Are you tired?" I ask.

"No. You're just comfortable." He tells me and I, of course, blush.

"Hmm. So what was it you were gonna tell me?"

"So impatient, Alexander." He says. He really has got to stop saying my name like that. I'll go crazy. "I'll tell you after the game." I just grunt and start playing with his hair. It is so soft; I would never get tired of raking my hands through it.

After the break is up, the game resumes and Magnus and I stay in the same position until the end. The score is 1-0 in our favour. At the sound of the whistle, everyone for our teams stands and cheers. Max, after a brief team huddle, sprints over to me. "Did you see me?" He asks.

"Of course, kid, you were great. Easily the best out there." I say and Magnus nods in agreement, an unusually soft smile on his face.

Max grins and runs over to Jace while Magnus takes my hand, simultaneously sending butterflies into my stomach. "He really looks up to you."

I shrug and look down, "I guess."

"ALEC!" Izzy calls from across the field. "We're having a victory dinner at Pipi's Pizza in an hour and a half! Feel free to invite Magnus!" I give her a thumbs-up to let her know I heard.

"Are you up for pizza?" I have to tilt my head up a slight bit to look Magnus in the eyes.

"Mm-hmm," He nods while playing with my fingers.

After most of the people clear from the field, I ask, "So what do you want to tell me?"

"I'm thinking it might not be such a great idea. I don't want to scare you away or anything." He mumbles as if he doesn't want me to hear.

"That's not an option, Mags. You're the one who got me curious, now spit it out.

**Magnus' POV**

I stare at our interlocked hands and feel blood rush to my cheeks. Suddenly overcome with doubt, I want nothing less than to admit how I feel about Alexander. "Hey, are you alright?" The blue eyed boy in front of me asks, bringing one hand up to my forehead as if checking for a fever.

"Yea, I'm not sick. Um…" I really don't want to do this now that the time's come. But, on the other hand, I don't want to go to bed tonight with this still hanging over me. "I really like you, Alexander, as more than just a friend. And I'd like for you to go on a date with me sometime."

He is speechless for a few agonizing seconds. What I wouldn't give to know what he was thinking. "What?" Is what he finally says to me.

"Will you go on a date with me, Alec?" I ask.

"I…Why? Why would you want to go with me?" He stammers.

"Because, dimwit, I like you. I just said that." I try to be humorous, but I'm actually just nauseous. He didn't say yes. Granted, he didn't say no either, but still…

"I don't understand." He is staring at me like I've grown a third eye.

"What don't you understand?" I frown. "I really like you, Alexander. I have for a while now, and I want to go on a date with you. It's pretty simple."

"I get that, but why _me_?" He asks, sounding a bit flustered. "Why would you like me, of all people?"

"I have more than enough reasons for that, Alec, but you wouldn't believe me. I can't even get you to admit that you're a good person, much less how outstanding you are." I tell him, "But, you'll just have to believe me. I like you."

"You said that…" He seemed bewildered now, finally grasping the situation.

"Yes, and I also asked if you would go out with me on a date…?"

"Oh right, um, I'd actually… That'd… yes please." Finally he gives an answer, even if I can barely hear it.

"Yes?" I ask for clarification. He nods. "Thank you!" I throw my arms around him. He returns the hug somewhat timidly. "I was scared you'd reject me."

"No, I really like you, too, Mags." He informs me and I swear, at that moment, I could do anything.

_**AN: So, I really enjoyed writing that, but I feel like it sucked. Feedback?**_


	13. Apologies

_**AN: More Malec…**_

**Magnus' POV**

It is almost our first date, Wednesday, after school, at the park, and I have no idea what to wear. "Hon, you look fabulous in anything, don't fret about it." My mother tells me, laughingly.

"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one going out with a beautiful cinnamon roll!" I sigh.

"Did you just meme your boyfriend?" She cracks up even more now.

"Maybe I did." I huff and cross my arms like a pouting child.

"Dear lord, what have I raised?" She can't seem to get the smile off of her face, but then again, neither can I. Finally, after barely restraining myself for weeks, Alec and I are going to go on an actual date. Finally, he is my boyfriend, and I don't think I've ever felt this happy.

"I'm going on a date with Alexander." I say for probably the fiftieth time today.

"Indeed you are, dear, now hurry up, I don't want you late for school." She tells me and leaves for work.

On the drive to school, I can't keep a neutral expression on my face. And when I see Alec being all broody and handsome against his locker, I hug him. He jumps a little, not having seen me come up, and then returns the embrace. "Hey," He says softly, making my insides melt.

"Hi," I laugh, absolutely full of giddy joy. "How are you this morning?"

"Kind of nervous…" He admits. I take both of his hands in mine.

"There's no reason to be, Alexander."

"I know I just… I've never been on a date before and what if I screw it up and you hate me and… Sorry, I am being stupid, but I can't help it." He shakes his head morosely.

"Babe, you couldn't make me hate you if you tried. Now let's get to class, hmm?" I nudge him and he smiles. We hold hands until we absolutely have to part to get to our separate classes.

**Alec's POV**

Before Art, I stop by my locker, not really paying attention. Soon, though, I'm shoved up against a locker and wince. I'd almost forgotten about Johnathan and Sebastian… Our move and Magnus had completely gotten them out of my mind, but apparently no one told them that. "So it's really true. You are faggot scum." Sebastian growls.

"Put my brother down, you lowlife." A deep voice threatens. I've done it again. I've made someone I care about go out of their way for me just because I'm not strong enough to handle a couple of bullies. So much for my decent mood… Johnathan turns around and starts talking at Jace while Sebastian keeps taunting me. I don't really pay attention to him, besides, I'm sure I'm being harsher with myself right now than he is, and I deserve it. I deserve them. I really am the scum of the earth, being so weak as to inconvenience the few people who I actually care about. My arms and thighs start to itch and I want—no, I need to cut.

"Alec?" Jace gently shakes my shoulders. I don't know where Sebastian and Johnathan went, but they are not here anymore. "Hey, you're okay." He says reassuringly.

"I'm sorry Jace. I'm a fuck up and I keep dragging you and Izzy and Mags into my shit and I'm so sorry." I barely whisper, but he seems to hear me, him and my boyfriend.

"Alexander! Don't you think that for a minute!" The glittery boy scolds me.

"It's true." I say, and I know that I'm telling the truth, even if they don't seem to believe me. Jace says something to Magnus that I can't hear and they both nod. Jace hugs me tightly, which is unusual for him, then walks off. Magnus grabs my hand and pulls me out of the school. "Magnus, where are you taking me."

"The park. I'm sure school can survive without us for one day." He says and I know there is no convincing him to turn back.

"I'm sorry." I sigh. Even though everything I said back there was true, I know it makes him upset when I talk like that. "I didn't mean all of that."

"You didn't mean it, or you didn't mean to say it?" He stops and looks at me, but I can't hold eye contact for long.

"Sorry." I say again.

"Come on; let's talk when we get to the park." He says and we both get in his brightly painted minivan. Neither of us says anything during the drive and I'm positive that I've ruined whatever we have between us. I'm really not surprised, just disappointed in myself.

"I'm really sorry." I say when we sit at a picnic table.

"For the love of all things good, stop apologizing, Alexander." He berates then sighs, taking my hands. "Look you are not a burden—not to Jace—not to Izzy—and certainly not to me. I know you have insecurities and I swear I'll do everything I can to help you past them, but I need you to understand this. We all care about you, okay?" His eyes have begun watering, but his expression is firm.

"I'm s—I mean, I… How? How can you all not just get tired of my shit? I don't deserve any of you." I look down at our clasped hands.

"You only say that because you are comparing the worst parts of you with the best of us. We are all a little fucked up, but that is okay, because we have one another as support." He smiles now and I think my brain stops working altogether. He is beautiful. "Let me ask you something. Sometimes I have breakdowns like I did when I told you about my past, sometimes they are worse. If I do have one and you're there, will you see me as a burden?"

"No, of course not. I'd only want you to feel better." I say adamantly, then slowly realize his point.

"That is how I feel towards you, Alec. That is how Jace and Izzy and Max and your mom feel as well, I'm positive." He cups my face and runs his thumb over my cheeks. "If you were a burden to us, we wouldn't keep hanging around you."

"But why do you are care so much? You are smart and gorgeous and funny and talented and perfect, but I'm just… not any of those things. So why?" I ask. I'm really not trying to be self-depleting here, I'm just honestly curious.

Magnus sighs and lays his head on my shoulder. "You say that, but, you've got it wrong. I'm only of average intelligence, and I'm not beautiful, my clothes and makeup are, without those I mortify even myself. Also, I used to feel awkward all of the time, that is why I learned to be funny, it doesn't come naturally to me. I don't even know where you got off thinking I have any talent other than blundering around like an idiot. As for perfect, I think you're biased, Mr. boyfriend.

"And you're wrong about yourself, too. You're gorgeous without trying to be and your smile can light up the room. You make those around you happy and I'm not sure you even know you are the cause. You can draw better than anyone else I've met and your grades are probably the best in the school. Also, you are amazingly strong; having to go through what you did and still being so… pure. That is amazing. And I'm so, so lucky to have been able to meet you." He explains to me.

"Y-you really think all that?" I ask, shell-shocked. I honestly had convinced myself that he was dating me out of pity, or because he was bored. I didn't mind, because I was just happy to spend more time with him, but this? I never thought…

"I do, and so much more. Alexander, you are nonpareil in this world and I'm so lucky to have you." He whispers and I hug him tightly.

"Thank you, Magnus. Thank you for everything. I don't know that I believe it all, but I will try, because I trust you." I say vulnerably.

"I'm very glad for that. I swear I'll try my best to be worthy of that." His breath tickles my neck, making me shiver. "Now, what do you say we get on with our date?"

_**AN: Soooo what do you think? Love it? Hate it with a burning passion and think it should be thrown into Tartarus? Let me know please!**_


	14. First Kiss

_**AN: … Hi.**_

**Magnus' POV**

Finally, Alexander seems to have calmed down. I wish so much that I could take away all of his self-misconceptions and throw them into the river Lethe, but I can't. All I can do is try my best to dispatch them when they surface. I remove my head from his shoulder and smile at him. He smiles back and I feel a wave of pure awe at how wonderful he is and how completely oblivious he is of this fact. Slowly, I lean forward, stopping about half way. I want to kiss him so badly. I have for a while, but now that it is possible, I can barely restrain myself. However, I'm not sure if he is ready yet and I don't want to rush him… Before my thoughts can progress any further, his lip are on mine and my heart starts doing somersaults in my chest.

He obviously isn't very experienced, but it is still perfect. He is hesitant, I'm sure he thinks he will do something wrong, but he doesn't. I'm just so glad that I finally get to kiss him that he could probably do anything and I'd think it was wonderful. His lips aren't soft, in fact they seem dry and they are rough from where he always chews on them, and I can't get enough.

Finally, when we need air, we separate, only a few inches, but that is a few inches too many. While we are catching our breath, he whispers, "Wow." I nod and lean in again.

This time, our kiss isn't gentle and sweet like before. Now we are staking a claim. The fact that he is dominating the kiss makes me feel weak in the best sort of way. One of his hands roam up my back and his other is firmly holding my waist. I moan softly and tangle both hands in his soft, beautiful hair. When we break apart again, I swing my legs up and wrap them around him, settling myself on his lap, before leaning in once more. He feels so perfect. I bite down gently on his lip and he gasps before kissing me even more deeply. I almost lose it when he traces his tongue over the top of my mouth. "Mmm," He groans and pulls away, only to start placing kisses along my jaw. "You are… so beautiful… Magnus." He tells me between kisses and I have to work to not moan out every time he touches me.

My back presses into the table behind me, but I barely notice it. My senses are too full of him. I feel tingles where our skin makes contact, I can smell nothing but his woodsy aroma, his taste still lingers on my tongue, and I want more. He sucks gently on my ear and I groan, "Alexander." Impatiently, I capture his mouth again.

A second later someone yells, "This is a public place and we do not want to be subject to you two freaks being inappropriate." I open my eyes to see a middle aged white woman climb out of a van resembling mine except for the color.

Alexander pulls himself away from me and a dark blush overtakes his cheeks and ears. "This is a large park, ma'am, no one is making you stay here and watch." I growl. She just huffs and pulls her children out of the van. "Alec, I have, personally, had my fill of homophobes for today, would you like to go on a walk?" I peck his cheek gently and he nods with his eyes on the ground.

To say I'm mad at Miss Soccer-Mom for making Alec withdraw into himself would be an understatement. Even after we can no longer see the intruding family, he barely replies and hasn't looked up once. "Alexander, don't let her get to you, she is a bigot." I say gently and brush against his hand. He looks away and sighs.

"But what if they're right? Ever since I was little, my dad has gone on about how it is sinful and disgusting. That… When I told him that I liked boys is when he started having his anger streaks. And it isn't just him. Kids at school think the same way—so many people do. They can't all be wrong, can they?" I barely hear him speak.

"Yes, they can." I say authoritatively, "Because what I feel for you isn't disgusting. It is beautiful. How on earth can it be wrong to care about someone? How can this," I say, gesturing between us, "Be a sin. Damn it, Alexander. You can't think like this." I practically beg.

He sighs and looks thoughtful for a moment before finally meeting my eyes. What I see there surprises me. In moments, he changed from uncertain and scared to assured and positively confident. "You're right. I was being an idiot." He kisses my cheek softly and I have to remind myself to breathe, "Thank you."

**Alec's POV**

Magnus was completely right. What I feel for him is pure and comforting, that could not be wrong. In fact, he feels right in every possible way. Even though we are opposite in many ways, we fit together.

I pull away from him and take his hand, so thankful that he is here with me. We keep walking on the shaded trail until we reach the picnic area again. The family is still there and the parents scoff at us as we walk by but, instead of feeling insecure now, I'm sorry for them. People who think loving someone else is wrong deserve nothing more or less than pity. _Wait, love?_ I jolt a little when I realize that I thought this, and then I look over to Magnus and smile. Yes. That is exactly what this is.

"I'm hungry." He says out of nowhere, "Also, I'd love to be indoors, away from these infernal gnats. Do you want to go to Starbucks?"

I nod and climb into his car. As we drive, I'm sure I look twitter pated, but I don't care. I stare at his sculpted face and notice that he seems to be having some sort of mental debate, judging my his varying expression. "What's on your mind?" I ask.

He looks at me for a second then faces the road again with a smile. "You."

"Ever so specific," I laugh and lean back in my seat, my eyes still glued to him. He just continues smiling.

_**AN: They kissed!  
Tell me what you all thought of it. I'm not sure I wrote it write, as I have no experience to go by. My only kisses were nasty and I never actually wanted them to happen. So, did I screw this up or…?**_

**_ALSO I'm starting a new fanfic, it will be Solangelo. It will start out with the three days in the infirmary and if I get good feedback I'll expand it. Yes that is clichéd, but honestly, I love infirmary fics. So, maybe check it out? It will be called Finding a Home._**


	15. end

Sorry, this isn't a chapter… I am out of motivation for this story so I am ending it until further notice.

This is partly because of how much my writing style and thought process has changed from when I last wrote and partly because I kind of think my idea is old and awful. I may be starting a new story soon, but I will complete it before posting anything to avoid something like this happening again.


End file.
